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Since the beginning of time, women have been given a laundry list of things they need to do, say, and be in order to catch and keep a man. Somewhere during the past couple of decades, however, we became exhausted by these superwoman who goes to work all day, keeps the house spotless, and has a hot meal waiting for her man when he comes home tropes. And, slowly, women began to free themselves from the expectations of wifedom and shamelessly admit they can’t — or simply won’t– do it all. But that resistance has now, unfortunately, given way to “pick-me” culture.

Pick-mes are women who separate themselves from the pack by spending their days proving to men how worthy they are of love. They flaunt their celibacy, fertility, and every other antiquated trait of a “good woman” before men in the hopes that they will become the chosen one. This wouldn’t be such a problem if the pick-me quest didn’t rest on shaming other women who don’t make those same choices and denying one’s own desires for the sake of a man.

Check out this episode of Listen to Black Women as the hosts explore pick-meism and ask you to explore whether you might have fallen victim to the pick-me culture.

About Listen To Black Women

Listen To Black Women is a new show from HelloBeautiful and MadameNoire that discusses the issues that affect us most while incorporating the voices of our audience and experts.

Each week, the show will gather insights from of our readers by asking them a series of questions related to the show topic. We’ll also be sharing thoughts from social media and the Internet at large as hosts Shamika Sanders, Brande Victorian, Keyaira Kelly weigh in with their opinions.

This show doesn’t work without you so be sure to take our weekly polls, share the videos with your network, and leave feedback everywhere you can. We’re listening to you.


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Listen To Black Women | Are You A “Pick-Me” On The Low?  was originally published on